He has rung the bell twice and nobody has answered the door yet but Shun knows better than to leave already. It’s Hiroki after all. And it’s late. He probably shouldn’t be here anyway but he doesn’t know where else to go. His apartment feels way too empty tonight.

Shun raises his head when he hears footsteps behind the door. Bare feet.

A rumpled shock of hair emerges from the slightly opened door and Hiroki gives him a questioning look.

“What’s up?”

He’s wearing nothing more than shorts and a purple tank top that still hangs a little loose around his slender frame.

“Nothing. You’re busy?”

Hiroki just gives a shrug.

“Nope. Just relaxing.”

He nods towards the inside.

“Wanna come in?”

“I don’t want to disturb your relaxation.”

“Baka…”

And his host shuffles back into the house leaving the door open for him to decide how to proceed.

Shun kicks of his shoes in the entrance and follows him into the living room where he slumps down on the couch with a deep sigh.

“Cup of tea?”

“Do you have any beer?”

“You want beer?”

“Craving rather. Come on, I know you always have a few bottles in the fridge!”

Hiroki raises an eyebrow.

“That’s why you came here? Don’t you have your own?”

“Well, maybe I enjoy your company, too.”

He gets an amused chuckle in return.

“That’s more like it.”

Just a moment later Shun holds a chilled beer in his hands and they both chink bottles. Leaning further into the cushions he takes a deep swig and closes his eyes. His body still feels tense though and he starts rummaging in the pockets of his pants.

“Can I smoke?”

“On the balcony.”

The cool air feels nice against his heated skin and it’s surprisingly quiet outside. They’re standing opposite each other on the tiny balcony and their cigarettes paint little orange dots into the semi-darkness of nightly Tokyo.

“How’s your girlfriend?”

“Do we have to talk about that?”

“Just curious…”

“You know it’s not like that.”

“Like what?”

“She’s not really my girlfriend.”

“Hoh~? Does she know about that?”

“It was her idea.”

“Cunning…”

“She gets the publicity. I get less awkward gossip.”

“Ah yes. Such a lovely couple.”

“Just give me a break.”

They stand there in silence for a while without looking at each other.

“You look like shit by the way.”

“Quite the charmer, aren’t you?”

“I mean it. You look drained. When was the last time you had a day off?”

“You mean this year?”

“Why don’t you just take a week off and go on vacation somewhere?”

“How am I supposed to do that?”

The hostile note in Shun’s voice makes him flinch slightly.

“I know you can’t do it right now but like… before you sign up for the next project just take a minute and think about yourself first, okay?”

 “Thanks for the advice.”

“Don’t give me that sarcastic bullshit! I’m worried about you, jackass.”

Their eyes met and Hiroki glares at him with pursed lips. Shun glares back for a moment but then lowers his gaze again.

“Sorry. You know I get bitchy when I’m stressed. It’s not about you.”

“Damn right this isn’t about me. It’s about you working yourself to death.”

Hiroki flips his only half-burnt down cigarette over the balcony and takes a step forward. Brushing the hand aside that is still holding the other cigarette he wraps his arms around Shun’s waist and pulls him close.

“Just don’t overdo it. That’s all I ask.”

Shun leans his chin on Hiroki’s soft hair and inhales the sweet smell of his favorite incense. He slowly slides his hand under Hiroki’s shirt and strokes the bare skin on his back. He knows Hiroki doesn’t mind for he knows his need for physical contact sometimes.

“Can I stay here?”

“Of course you can.”

“I haven’t slept for days. I just can’t fall asleep.”

Hiroki keeps on playing with the dark strands of hair covering his neck.

“So you came over to fill that sleepless time with wild, uninhibited sex?”

Shun’s response is a mixture of snorting, laughing and coughing, all at the same time.

“I wish… I can’t even walk properly.”

“I could still make you feel good…”

Normally this kind of low timbre in his friend’s voice never fails to excite him but tonight he’s just too worn out to care for more than a soft mattress and a warm body next to him.

“Gomen.”

Hiroki takes a step back, tilts his head and looks up at him.

“Just finish your cigarette and get into bed, jerk.”

Before leaving the balcony he turns around again though.

“I’ll be waiting, wearing nothing but.. nothingness.”

“And that naughty smile, huh?”

“Exactly. So hurry up before I fall asleep.”

Taking the last drags from his cigarette Shun smiles to himself in the darkness wondering how he’d cope with all this if it weren’t for these little escapes once in a while. This place, as small and chaotic as it may be, feels like a sanctuary always ready to take him in and shield him from the outside world that feels like it’s trying to devour him alive.

When he quietly slides open the door to the bedroom a while later and the light falls into the dark room he can make out Hiroki’s shape under the thin blanket. He lingers in the doorframe for a moment watching him blinding out all other thoughts.

Maybe he’ll be able to sleep at least a little tonight.